This last week and Monday of this week I missed my classes. This is unusual for me and I do not like missing class or falling behind. Even though I injured myself, I know it was accidental and I will struggle and fight back to "be caught up" with my Spring 2010 schedule.
I found myself becoming disappointed and "down" on myself until I realized" " this too is part of who I am, my Self"! The fact that I don't like missing class and feel I am not able to do my very best is a critical reflection on what I expect of myself.
I think I have always known that I am happiest when I am achieving, doing my best, and excelling as I believe I have the ability to do. When I do not fulfil my own expectations I find my happiness slips. I know I must be the one to evaluate myself fairly, then do what I need to do or the best I can in differing situations. By recognizing my critical nature I can assess whether I am putting forth my best efforts, sabotaging myself, or not presenting my best efforts. If I look at it from all these perspectives I find I have the best chance at being fair with myself and not overly critical.
Oh well that is my post this week, as I continue to strive to not fall too far behind and get my butt back to class as soon as is physically and psychologically possible.
Do others struggle and feel the need to have these self talks, or is this my coping mechanism? Anyway thought I would share this part of my "self"